Listening to Your Intuition!
Challenging people and situations are sent to us as our most important teachers. Without challenges, our soul would not grow—Sasha Samy.
Despite struggling with some health issues over the past year and a half, I managed, with blood and tears, to finally get my book, Transcending Abuse & Betrayal, published in late October of 2012. I was exhausted and felt overwhelmed with trying to coordinate the marketing aspect of it. But I kept plodding on, typical of me, despite receiving inner guidance to take it easy and to step back from it all for a while. The Christmas season did not make it easy either for me to take a break. There were gifts to buy and so many things to get done even for a quiet family Christmas dinner.
I was tired, in dire need of rest and at my most vulnerable time when I met someone who persuaded me to attend a retreat in early January. I had been wanting to go for a meditation retreat for sometime now, in my desire to get away from the madding crowd and to be one with source in a conducive environment. The retreat she was suggesting however was nothing like the retreat I had in mind. I listened her out and told her I would check it out.
My first instinct after I read some of the material she sent me was a ‘no.’ The retreat proposed things that I had been doing for the last 12 years. Perhaps, it may offer more depth or different perspectives, I’m not sure, but I didn’t feel the need for it at that point. When I declined her invitation to attend the retreat again, she persisted to persuade me, indicating why I should attend it. I once again returned to the material and after reading more of it, I found some aspect of it stirring up my interest.
With more persuasion, I signed up for the retreat, booked my air ticket and made arrangements for transportation from the airport to the hotel where the retreat was to take place. I actually started getting excited at the thought of leaving cold wintry Vancouver for a warm place in the States and making community with the other participants. My husband even gifted me a computer bag from Michael Kors for Christmas for my trip.
Come 24th of December and sad to say, I woke up with a slight sore throat and chills. Despite not feeling so well, I continued with the preparations for the Christmas eve dinner. All went well and we had a marvellous time. On Christmas day, I woke up feeling worse and over the next few days, became very ill with bronchial asthma. My doctor advised me against travelling and so did my two daughters. So I cancelled my flight on New Year’s day and informed the agent for the retreat that I would not be attending. What ensued in my attempt to withdraw from the retreat made me realize that it was definitely not meant for me. It was unpleasant and I was left feeling very upset over the incident.
It made me realize how important it is to stick to our first instinct and not to allow anyone else to persuade you otherwise. Illness is often an outer manifestation of what is going on within you. My initial resistance manifested in my illness to stop me from attending what I believe is not meant for me. The universe too helps to take away what is not meant to be. I believe everything happens for a reason.
What I learned from this experience is to never doubt your first instinct. Your inner authority is the guiding compass of your life. Each time we claim our inner authority, we learn to trust ourselves more, we strengthen our mind to stand firm in our truth and in ourselves. Challenging people and situations are sent to us as our most important teachers. Without challenges, our soul would not grow. It is how we deal with them, with courage, strength and compassion that helps us to move forward.
Sasha Samy (c) 2013
Author of “Transcending Abuse & Betrayal”